“Only when you find a way to still the otherwise endless pursuit for the first kind of fulfillment can and will you be able to realize the second kind.”
The first kind of fulfillment in this context, is defined, as ‘the achievement of something desired’ , which is not a bad thing in life.
The second kind of fulfillment, in this context, is undefinable, really. But we might call it bliss or knowing our connection with Source.
I read this quote, in The Four Desires, and I have fallen in love with this book only 11 pages in. But, this quote is also one of the deeper reasons I walked away from my cell phone dependency. Beyond my desire to hold on to my money and let my ears cool off from all that radiation, I wanted to remind myself directly of my connection with God.
And my belief that I had to have an immediate and unending connection with a device in order to be connected, to anything, had to be challenged. And released.
This cell phone free experiment has been really interesting. This week I finally heard from a friend that I have deep and very occasional conversations with. She shared with me that she recently left a message on my voice-mail at the old number – there is no voice-mail to leave messages on – but her point was she was thinking of me as well and it was good to reconnect.
What I want to share with you is the panic I felt worrying about all the other calls I have surely missed since closing my account. Panic. I was afraid I had missed out on important invitations and opportunities and other declarations of love. I was afraid someone was out there offended that I had not returned a call. You know, the usual cultural insecurities that crave outside affirmations and acceptance.
I’ve been without a cell phone for a little over two months now and this panic passed very quickly. A minute or two, only, before the voice of reason stepped back in and reminded me that people had years to call me and keep in touch. The voice of reason reminded me that my email address has been the same for years and people are smart enough to reach me through it. The voice of reason reminded me that I updated my new ‘cell phone-free’ contact information to the people who made the effort to stay in touch with me most often. The folks who let me know, consistently, that I was important to them. These people know how to reach me quickly.
So, there is no trouble. The panicked feeling is just part of this process of becoming still enough to remember who I am. Without the stuff. Right now I am remembering that I matter without texting capabilities and awesome sci-fi ringtones announcing my newest caller.
I am remembering, in my own stillness, that there was a time when we talked with Spirit more often than we talk about our machines.
And, I am remembering that when I do plug back in to that technology (which I do love by the way) I have the power to turn it off when I’ve had enough. And even with my phone off, or silent, or out of my reach, my world will continue, and people will survive beautifully, without my constant attention.